Prime Time

The horror.

I’m here to kick your ass, and you know it, and everybody here knows it, and above all, you deserve it. In fact, I think it’s safe to say that this party is about to become a historical fact.

I hate feeling ashamed. I hate where I’m from. I hate watching my friends get everything their hearts desire. I gave into that hatred and I turned on what I believed in. I didn’t have to. You didn’t.

Later-

We’re gonna bring this party up to a nice respectable level. Don’t worry, we’re not gonna hurt anyone. We’re not even gonna touch ’em. We’re just gonna make ’em cry a little, just by lookin’ at ’em.

Dave in repeats from 2/10.  Jon has Aaron Eckhart, Stephen David Brooks (David Broder being unresponsively dead and all).  Conan hosts Paul Rubens, Shane Mauss, and Edmund Morris.

Don’t go mistaking paradise for a pair of long legs.

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