Only one chance at Keith and Rachel because we need our Joe Arpaio fix.  Sharks, just tonight and tomorrow to jump them.  The highlight is without a doubt Phineas & Ferb’s Summer Belongs to You at 8 pm.  Think Around The World in 80 Days in a day.

In an hour.

Competing on the Toon front are Ben 10 and Generator Rex premiers.  Clone Wars is doing the Blue Shadow Virus set.

• AMC– Charlie Wilson’s War.  First off, not a ‘classic’.  Second, we’re still fighting it, and we’re losing.
• ESPN– ESPYs (again?)
• FX– Jarhead
• TNT– Men in Black x 2
• Oxygen– Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous x 2
• Nick– Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging
• SciFi– Eureka (last week’s and the exciting conclusion of this week’s crossover Warehouse 13 episode), Haven (premier)
• Turner Classic– Intermezzo: A Love Story, Casablanca (Ingrid)

Later-

Dave has Sandra Bullock (Miss Congeniality) and Drew Brees.  NO ALTON!  What the heck am I going to eat?  New Children’s Hospital at midnight.  The Doctor Is Sin (Am I a bad person?).  Look Around You– Health.  Disney has repeats of tonight’s premier and other recent Phineas & Ferbs.

• AMC– The Invasion (just horrible)
• FX– The One
• Turner Classic– Notorious (Ingrid again)
• USA– The Contract

I could be working with my brother right now. He’s got a dry-wall business in Compton. Does the inside of office buildings; you know, the metal studs. I could be his partner, said he’d give me that brand new Dodge Ram Charger. You know, the 318 Magnum? The beast? All indoor work, too, lots of AC. I could sleep with my wife every night, fuck her, maybe; take my kids to school every morning. And I’d run his crews, too, probably increase productivity 40 to 50%. Make $100K a year. Do you know why I don’t? Because I love this job.

I thank God for every fucking day he gives me in the corps, oorah.

Yahoo TV Listings

Evening Edition is an Open Thread

1 BP plugs runaway oil well in Gulf of Mexico

by Matt Davis, AFP

Thu Aug 5, 5:53 pm ET

Echo… echo… echo… Pinch hitting for Pedro Borbon… Manny Mota… Mota… Mota…

You may remember my brother the activist.  I keep trying to get him to post, but he’s shy and busy.  He sent me this yesterday and I thought I’d share it with you.

I need to add that he’s a great admirer of James Carville’s political savvy (though not his policies) and one story he likes to tell is how during the height of Monica-gate Carville was on one of the Talking Head shows and made a point about how important it is to stay on message.  Carville then proceeded to demonstrate his gift by working the phrase “Cigarette Lawyer Ken Starr” 27 times into the next 30 seconds.- ek

The date – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 – August 6, 2001 needs to be as well known to Joe and Jane American as September 11, 2001.

Presidential Daily Briefing of August 6, 2001 PDB

Declassified and Approved for Release, 10 April 2004

Presidential Daily Briefing: August 6, 2001 – Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S.

Clandestine, foreign government, and media reports indicate Bin Ladin since 1997 has wanted to conduct foreign terrorist attacks on the U.S. Bin Ladin implied in U.S. television interviews in 1997 and 1998 that his followers would follow the example of World Trade Center bomber Ramzi Yousef and “bring the fighting to America.”

Presidential Daily Briefing: August 6, 2001 – Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S.

After U.S. missile strikes on his base in Afghanistan in 1998, Bin Ladin told followers he wanted to retaliate in Washington, according to a [deleted] service.

Presidential Daily Briefing: August 6, 2001 – Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S.

An Egyptian Islamic Jihad (EIJ) operative told an [deleted] service at the same that Bin Ladin was planning to exploit the operative’s access to the U.S. to mount a terrorist strike.

Presidential Daily Briefing: August 6, 2001 – Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S.

FBI information since that time indicates patterns of suspicious activity in this country consistent with preparations for hijackings or other types of attacks, including recent surveillance of federal buildings in New York.

Presidential Daily Briefing: August 6, 2001 – Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S.

The FBI is conducting approximately 70 full field investigations throughout the U.S. that it considers Bin Ladin-related. CIA and the FBI are investigating a call to our Embassy in the UAE in May saying that a group of Bin Ladin supporters was in the U.S. planning attacks with explosives.

So Vice President Dick, tell me again how the REPUBLICANS WILL KEEP US SAFE?

So Senator McSame, tell me again how invading and occupying IRAQ has helped the U.S. hunt down BIN LADEN?

I’m printing my own bumper stickers filled with images from 9-11 and this text-

“I don’t think anybody could have predicted that these people would take an airplane and slam it into the World Trade Center”- Condoleezza Rice, National Security Advisor

“All right. You’ve covered your ass now.”- George W. Bush

Keith and Rachel.  Get them while there are repeats.  Last night for the Boys this week.  Jon at least is in repeats Monday.

• AMC– Pulp Fiction
• Comedy– Futurama, That Darn Katz! (premier)
• ABC Family– 16 Candles, Freaky Friday
• Food– Good Eats, Alton does Oranges and Ice Cream (not together)
• FX– Superbad x 2
• History– The Universe, Sex and Mars (needs Women)
• Lifetime– Project Runway (last week’s Premier and new)
• TBS– Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
• Turner Classic– Sergeant Rutledge, Once Upon a Time in the West
• Toon– Repeats of Monday’s premiers
• USA– Burn Notice (premier)

Once Upon a Time in the West is perhaps the darkest of the ‘classic’ Westerns and by ‘classic’ I mean Henry Fonda who didn’t always play a hero and has exactly one degree of separation from Marion Morrison.

The freaky thing about Freaky Friday is that it isn’t Jodie Foster’s original, or even Shelly Long’s pathetic remake, but Lindsay Lohan’s trainwreck of a threepeat.  Sometimes I wonder about Jamie Lee Curtis’ choice of material.

Superbad looks like it lives up to its title.  Some people are Will Ferrell fans, I don’t understand why.

Later-

Dave has Mark Wahlberg, Cory Kahaney, and VV Brown.  Jon has Akbar Ahmed, Stephen Savion Glover.  Alton is doing slaw (actually a pretty funny episode).  Showdown at Cremation Creek II (I told you to DVR it).

I’m happy to find Comedy Central again.  The cable company moved it and didn’t notify me except on the TV Guide Channel crawl THAT NEVER WORKS!  I almost called them all cranky like I did ABOUT THE STUPID TV GUIDE CHANNEL!, but I’ve been remiss in providing a permanent prominent link to Yahoo TV Listings.

They moved Spike too.  I hardly noticed it.

Evening Edition is an Open Thread

1 Hope for Gulf as BP plugs well, most of the oil gone

by Matt Davis, AFP

Wed Aug 4, 8:01 pm ET

Keith, Rachel, and the Boys, but you don’t have to watch news on my account though maybe you’ll want to.  Is Shark Week over yet?

I’m of mixed mind about The Assassins.  On the one hand it has Sylvester Stallone.  On the other hand it has Antonio Banderas.  Given the subtext about aging action hero studs you could find it interesting.

Or not.

• ESPN– White Sox @ Tigers
• FX– Next x 2
• Turner Classic– None But the Lonely Heart, Pinky.  Ethel Barrymore (Drew’s Great Aunt) night.

What?  You think I’m slighting Ghost Hunters?

Later-

Dave has Julia Roberts and The Dead Weather.  Jon has Bruce Henderson, Stephen Michael Posner.  Alton does espresso (too much caffine?  Why do you think that?)

• AMC– Rubicon repeats.
• Turner Classic– Rasputin and the Empress (John AND Ethel)
• FX– Motherfucking Snakes on a Motherfucking Plane (can I have some Ice Tea with that?)

Showdown at Cremation Creek.  This is HUGE.  If you ever hope to understand why David Bowie is The Sovereign of The Guild of Calamitous Intent you’ll examine every frame individually using your DVR and then watch it again at 5 am (hey, you’ll be up in time for Home Movies, Mets Fast Forward, and Monster Trucks).

Not that I would know anything about it.

Evening Edition is an Open Thread

1 Hope for Gulf as BP plugs well, most of the oil gone

by Matt Davis, AFP

1 hr 10 mins ago

Guys, you just have to face it.  Your ‘Y’ Chromosome is a damaged ‘X’ and you’re a deformed cripple in the genetic scheme of things.

Look at Ants or Honeybees.

Or around you.  The every day misogyny of our society is appalling.  My brother’s girlfriend (who is much younger than I, but I’m 120 years old) was watching a Doris Day movie and said “Wow!”

Indeed.

My experience with women as friends is that they are in almost every respect superior to my male friends.  Brighter, more sympathetic, more loyal, more tolerant.

And yet as a society we inculturate them from birth to be submissive.

Men are intimidated by women (as they should be) and motivated by vagina envy and desire seek to suppress and control them, especially their sexuality.

Thus the slut penalty.  If you’re a woman and you like sex (and I have no idea, but speaking as a man it’s pretty good for me) you’re supposed to face the 9 months and 18 years of child bearing or at least the tut-tutting of your neighbors shaking their shame fingers at you.

Well fuck that.

When I look at women I look them in the eyes and not their breasts (to the extent I can, I am a guy), and I never ever delude myself that they’re not smarter than me.

Update: Amanda Marcotte  

I own it as a badge of honor.  Freemasonry celebrates the Enlightenment ideal that the Universe is knowable and it’s our duty to understand it the best we can.

You can learn every ‘secret’ of Masonry on the internet, including the silly walks, but that does not in itself enable you to work and act as a Mason.

As master of my lodge I wore a dead man’s hat and a single rap from my gavel commanded the attention of all, but at the end of every meeting I descended from my dias and took off my hat because-

• We Meet on the Level
• Act on the Plumb
• And Part upon the Square

I haven’t been to my lodge in years but I expect at my funeral to be buried with my apron and a sprig of evergreen (most likely cut from the shrubs outside at the last minute) as is customary.

That’s the sort of thing we do.