Daytona 500 Open Thread- 2012

Turn Left Racing

I don’t have much respect for the most popular “sport” in the United States.  I’m not talking about Throwball (for which I have very little respect indeed), but Turn Left Racing.  For one thing, the entire skillset is encapsulated in the derisive nickname.

But there are subtleties ek you say, how about that drafting and 4 wide racing?  In the biz they call that packing and makes it one of the most bloodthirsty events in this modern empire of gladiatorial entertainment designed to numb the masses to the atrocities and debauchery of the patrician elite.  These latter day chariot races divide and distract us like the blue and the green.

It’s fortunate for the drivers they build them like bumper cars and make them slow too.  The strict regulations on design and innovation and lack of mechanical connection to their putative brands makes any claim of win on Sunday, sell on Monday mere historic hype.  Who can tell anyway with all the logos?

Motor racing is unique among sports, thanks to its ties to big industry. Nobody ever went to a football game to cheer on a brand of football.

“NASCAR and the Daytona 500 are about as American as you can get, and it’s great to have my campaign represented by one of these incredible machines,” Santorum said in a release. “The race weekend is a wonderful tradition that we’re excited to be a part of as we spread our message. I like how Tony Raines turned some heads last weekend with his qualifying run, and we’d like to keep turning heads, too. I think we’re both looking for a win in the end.”

What’s incredible is that they’re out performed by both the flagship pony cars (and that people still buy this corporate marketing crap).

Packing

(P)ack racing is what the fans want and NASCAR is going to give it to them. Well, so far they got it, and they also have seen multiple accidents in practices/races.

The only way you can push these deliberately engineered bricks through the air is by taking advantage of drafting.  It’s the exact opposite of Formula One.  Drivers are encouraged by physics to get as close as they can.  As if this were not enough, there are frequent cautions mandated like TV time outs simply to draw the field closer together.

So far this year Danica Patrick has crashed twice, once in qualifying (she’ll have to start her backup car) and once in an under card race, booted by a team mate drafting behind her.

Patrick eventually got back into the race after her crew made extensive repairs to her car in the garage area. She finished 38th in a wreck-filled race that was won by James Buescher.

Patrick began the 300-mile event up front after becoming the first woman to win a NASCAR pole position since Shawna Robinson in 1994. She led at the start, spent the first part of the race in the top 10 before getting shuffled out of the draft and falling deeper in the field before the tap by Whitt.

Danica

Personally I think Turn Left Racing fans are only motivated by the prospect of flaming chunks of twisted metal and getting puking drunk on Bud on the Infield.  Danica Patrick represents a chance to broaden the demographic of people who like to watch flaming chunks of twisted metal and getting puking drunk on Bud on the Infield (not that Formula One is noted for its gynocracy and you have the added attraction of having to bribe your way into a seat), just like Jeff Gordon.

It’s a funny thing to call a crash impressive, but that’s what it was, a tremendous, violent, smoldering head-on wreck. All eyes were on Patrick during Thursday’s qualifying races, waiting to see. Basically, waiting to see if the little girl could handle that great big car, and be a worthy competitor when she makes her debut in Sunday’s Daytona 500. What she gave us was something close to a defining moment. We can stop with the haggling over whether to call Patrick a good or bad feminist, and the hand-wringing over her image. Who cares? After watching that wreck, I know exactly what to call her: a pro.

Expect a lot of commentary like that and this–

“It’s great for the sport,” said four-time NASCAR champion Jeff Gordon. “Who doesn’t want to see a female driver come in here and be able to race with the guys and do well and be marketable? It’s great for the sport.”

At least until she crashes out.

Daytona 500 Winner Tough To Predict

Out here machinery is show business, and in service of racier racing, the bosses changed up the tech package this year. Now the constant Rube Goldberg recalculation of fuel injection and restrictor plate and spoiler angle and grill opening and water temperature and suspension tuning has everyone flummoxed. Everything you touch affects everything else — push down here and something pops over there — in new and unexpected ways. All at once the cars are light in the tail and skittish at almost every angle of attack. A harsh word or a hard look at the quarter panel of the car in front of you can send it spinning.

To the extent possible, NASCAR recalibrated all of this in the interest of entertainment to break up not only the traditional mass-draft formations of years past, but the more recent two-by-two bumper car pairings as well. The result of this experiment will be made public Sunday. Forecasts I’ve heard around the tool box call for showers of debris and a partly crashy afternoon.

The fact of the matter is that Turn Left Racing is as predictable as professional wrestling, in the sense of-

Who cares?

There will be 43 bumper cars starting today and those that last until the final five laps will be gathered up for a gripping ‘sprint to the finish’.  Rain is predicted and unlike Formula One and IndyCar, Turn Left don’t do wet.  Might get some rain inside your Bud.

(T)he Great American Race remains the Great American Metaphor. All of us racing in circles as fast as we can, going nowhere, chasing a buck.

Now with pretty table.