What’s the best way to vaporize money?
Tear it up in the shower.
Seriously, you should never, ever bring anything on a boat you’re not prepared to lose over the side.
Including your life.
The big news of the 2013 America’s Cup is and will be the tragic death of Andrew ‘Bart’ Simpson in the Artemis capsize and no Nelson ‘ha-ha’s’ despite the amusing coincidence of names. He was an Olympic gold medalist.
The question is how did we get here and the answer is simple enough.
You see the real problem is that yacht racing is horrifically expensive and breathtakingly dull. The solution, according to billionaire Larry Ellison of Oracle, the computer database company, is to make the boats faster and sail them closer to shore.
Oh, they’re fast all right. Semi-rigid air foils push them up beyond ambient air speed and drag reducing hydrofoils literally lift them up out of the water at a blistering 40+ knots (50 mph or more to you lubbers) and the viewing in San Fransisco is free since they can’t figure out a way to charge for it.
The only real competition is the New Zealand Kiwis with dreams of past glory backed by Emirate Petro Bucks but if you want a thumb on the scale victory for USA! USA! USA! this is as close to a sure thing as you can get, better than Olympic Men’s Basketball (or Women’s, go Huskies).
Relax and enjoy the flaming chunks of twisted carbon fiber.
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