Insurance Blues, or why I am in abject Pain Now 20110915

Most of you that read my pieces know that I was arrested for a heinous crime in 2006, the accusation being false.  I was cleared in court via DNA, but that was not good enough.

I have not worked at all since then, and have been tapping out my hard earned, and long saved retirement funds.  To add insult to injury, I have had to pay income tax and a 10% penalty on drawing those funds.  At the rate that I am burning them, I will be a pauper before retirement age.

But that is not the topic exactly.  My immediate problem is that I think that I have a dental abscess, with my entire face hurting on the left side tonight.

I used to go to the dentist.  I promise you that I did.  I actually enjoyed getting my teeth cleaned, and the feeling of how slick they were afterwards.  I never feared going to the dentist.

I DO fear going to the dentist now.  Not because of physical pain, but because of the financial burden.  It has been over five years since I have had any work, because I can not afford it.  The hell of the entire thing is that us uninsured pay the top dollar for procedures, whilst the insured get deep discounts for the same things, dictated by the agreements that the insurance companies require.

So I, with no dental insurance, will have to pay close to ten times what insured folks will pay.  I know that I should have had regular checkups and scaling, but with no insurance I just could not afford it for the past half decade.  I know, I should have done better, but with a kiss of death false charge my income collapsed from over $120,000 per year to zero.  I have not had medical, dental, or life insurance since 2006.

It is catching up with me.  I have sent applications so long that I can not remember how many went out from me, and NEVER got even a single response, either to see a possible employer or a rejection.  Just cricket sounds.  It gets damned discouraging.

Whilst otherwise my health is fine, and I am the only 54 year old that does not require chronic medication whom I know, I also know that this abscess is likely to infect my heart valves, and then I WILL be a chronically ill person.  I do NOT want that to happen.  I have always been vigorous, and a damned tooth infection might just bring me down to the level of being a broken, old man.

I have drained the gum affected three times tonight, using a keen probe and sterile tissues.  It just keep filling up with blood and pus.  When I drain it, the pain goes away for a half hour or so, then it fills up again and impinges on the sensory nerves, causing me to shout out with pain.  Right now it is just a dull throb, and ibuprofen allows me to deal with it.  I am not sure that I will be able to sleep tonight.

The only option that I have is to go to my dentist, the one that I used back when I had insurance, and beg him to treat me even though I can not pay.  What do you think will be his response?  He seemed to be a nice person, and I pray that he will treat me and allow me to pay him little by little.  I do not think that I am exaggerating when I say that I need over $5000, or maybe even $10,000 worth of work.  This is bad, and I have another molar that is disintegrating that will surely need a root canal and a crown.  Another $5000, give or take.

I know that the economy is bad right now.  I did everything right.  I hold an earned Ph.D. in a hard science.  I have worked all of my adult life to make enough money to support my family and put some back for old age.  But I had that charge against me, and NO ONE will even think about hiring me!

This is a cautionary tale.  My advice is, if you have even a poor job, to stay with it.  NEVER do anything that would put it in jeopardy.  That includes NEVER getting a DUI (I have NEVER had one, and that is a firing offense in many cases), any domestic violence (NEVER any of that, either), any bankruptcy, (NO chance of a security clearance with one of those, and no, NEVER one for me), or even an accusation of sexual abuse (I was accused, and cleared, but the stigma lives on).  In other words, NEVER get anything worse than a parking ticket or you will pay for it.

Look at the maths.  Even if I never got a raise, my lost income from 2006 to now would be $120,000 times the six years, or $720,000!  And the tax on tapping out my retirement, and the loss of that retirement.  And the loss of insurance.  And the loss of self respect.  And the loss of my family. I should have over $1 million in investments, and now I try to decide which ones to liquidate first.

I am not perfect.  I should have kept my doors locked.  But I did not, and that girl came inside and it looked like a compromising situation.  The DNA evidence does not lie, and I, on the advice of my attorney, plead to a to very minor misdemeanor.  It was not the plea, it was the original charges that have condemned me.

Now my entire left half of my face hurts, and I am likely to loose teeth because of it.  The gum, even after being lanced by my own hand, if filling up with blood and pus again.  Just NEVER get accused of anything, or you might be like me:  your life changed in ways that you will never be able to comprehend.

I apologize if this sounds like a “poor me” post.  I have written way too long here for most of you to know that my style is quite different.  I try to be upbeat, and you know that.  The pain hurts horribly, and I guess that is making me be a bit less reserved.  If it does not let up, tomorrow, well this morning, I will have no choice but to do into debt to the dentist, IF he will agree to treat me.

Thank you for keeping up with my documentation!  The abscess is needing a new lancing now, and it looks like I will have to impose on my neighbor to drive me to the dentist, because I am not sure that I can get there safely, not to mention getting home after whatever procedure(s) will be needed.

Sorry to seem like a malcontent.

Warmest regards,

Doc, aka Dr. David W. Smith

I am not sure that I can crosspost because the pain is getting worse again