Hi, I’m a Lefty

(4 pm. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

I’m Rubberaremedlefty, and I want to introduce myself.  

I was born a sharecropper….no, that’s not right.  I had a great childhood, fine parents, and good dental growing up.  

But as a left hander, I had certain…difficulties fitting in.  The chairs in school didn’t allow for me to write properly.  The baseball glove my parents bought for me didn’t fit in the correct hand.  And tying my shoes was impossible the way my mom taught me.  Seemed like everything I did, I had to look at backwards or sideways from the way everybody else saw the world.  And I didn’t even know this until my cousin told me I was left handed, like her.  Oh, she taught me to tie my shoes too.  

Everything I do, say, touch or feel is filtered through being left handed.  I can’t get through an hour without noticing way in which society has diminished me and my orientation.  Discrimination is ubiquitous.  There are cultures in this world where left handedness is considered “of the devil”.  

Thankfully, in this country, we do not force children (any longer) to be right handed.  My mother was one such person who was forced to learn to be right handed.  But those of us who are born this way and choose to live the left handed lifestyle are forced to orient ourselves to the way society at large works, through constant translation.  Even in this day and age, simple devices like credit card swipers are oriented so that left handed people must do gymnastics to swipe a card.  Kids in school STILL don’t have left handed desks in most places.   Every try to buy a left handed scissors?  Every try to use a scissors left handed?  Walk a mile in my shoes, baby.  

When I was in fourth grade, my teacher apparently hated left handed kids.  We got ink all over everything.  She was determined that we could be taught to be conforming students, so she taught me to write with my elbow under my hand, off of the desk (it’s a right handed desk) so I didn’t smear anything.  Now in fourth grade, I already knew how to write, and essentially started over, with no penmanship exercises to go along with this new skill.  So my handwriting to this day sucks so bad, I can’t read it myself.   One day, Mrs. Crabapple saw me writing the comfortable way, and whispered in my ear, “If I see you writing like that one more time, I’ll break your arm.”  So since then, it’s under, not over in my world.  When I see another lefty writing overhand, I yell “Power to the people!”  

Over time, movements have been attempted to increase awareness and empower people of the left persuasion.  I think we’re a passive bunch.  We’re OK with being different.  It just didn’t work out, they weren’t that into us.  

But every time I’m at a dinner party, or in a business meeting where I take my pen out, I have a choice to make: Do I let people know I’m a lefty, or shall I remain closeted?  Can’t I just write with the other hand?  Can’t I just learn to use a knife and fork backward from the way I think?  It would take some practice, for sure. So I think I could, but that would be living a lie.  

The last three presidents have been left handed.  That is some kind of coincidence, don’t you think?  Yes, when the president signs a document, I look to see which is the writing hand, and I look to see if they write over the top, or the natural position or with elbow in.  

So when I hear a right handed person say, “Being left handed is a choice, get with the program and stop asking society to accommodate you” I say, sure it’s a choice, but I can’t and won’t change.  And I’m not asking society to do anything for me it doesn’t do with any other interest group.  

We’re 10 % of the population, and we’re treated as if we’re 0.   Deal with me as I am.  

But there are advantages to having to look at the world upside down, sideways, and backwards.  I tend to see all sides of every situation.  I tend to be empathetic to the plight of people who are marginalized.  and I tend to root for the underdog in almost any situation.  I see strength and opportunity in my orientation.  When is the last time a baseball manager said he needed a rubber armed righty?  And I am able to play musical instruments that require both hands because of the requirement to develop both of them to live in this world.  

I have a son who is completely ambidextrous.  He also played baseball, and he could pitch with either hand.  We’d bring two gloves to his games.  He was a switch hitter too.  At dinner, he eats with whatever feels good at the time.  I think he has it the best.  He also plays drums, which to him is the easiest thing in the world to play.  

So when you are out in the world and you notice a lefty, don’t stare.  But don’t be afraid to mention it either.  It’s not a malady, it’s a condition, and we’re just as good as you.