Aug 24 2013

Formula One 2013: Spa-Francorchamps Qualifying

At Spa if it’s not raining it’s getting ready to rain.

Qualifying is tape delayed and I know how it came out even if you don’t because I read the funny papers. Two hundred ninety nine cases of undisputed, self-reported, illegal NSA intercepts- isn’t that funny?  I can hardly stop laughing myself.  They didn’t make it a round 300 because that would be too pat and unbelievable like a $2.99 burger actually costing $3.06 with sales tax.  It sounds so icky that way that you can barely choke down your cholesterol grease disk and still have room for the fries you want.

But it’s all about the money and the Gasoline Circus is visiting the Bulge in the place you go to get rid of those unsightly muffin tops.

The good news is that the 3 practice blow outs were due to track debris, NOT a design flaw.  The bad news is that Michelin is still sniffing around Pirelli’s vacant 2014 contract despite their last snub with vast chunks of cash burning a hole in their pocket when it could just as well be in Bernie’s better insulated one.  Alas for the fans of the Stay-Puff Marshmallow, Michelin has publicly said it has no interest at all in developing the timed degradation tires that represent the only excitement in the “race”.

On offer this week will be the Hards and Mediums.  Not that it means much since the likelihood of at least one lap on the Inters is high to certain so for the purposes of speculation teams may be considered to have an unlimited supply of whichever they favor and any requirement to run  two compounds satisfied.

With Webber retiring from Red Bull many teams are looking at how much money a driver can pay for a ride which is far more important than whether they can actually race or not.  It’s now generally acknowledged that Alonso is worth .5 seconds a lap regardless of what piece of crap you strap him into, but that doesn’t mean he’ll jump to the Bulls since Vettel is not interested in rivals, he wants servants.

Kind of quashes any rumors about Raikkonen also.  Too Damn Good.  So they’ll probably pick someone like Ricciardo, you know, a loser.

The two week August vacation is strictly enforced, not that they needed much this year.  McLaren has given up and will do no more development after wasting their time on a 2013 chassis that is not only slow, but one which they’ll have to scratch in 2014 when the blown 6s make their debut.  Everyone else is doing the same thing, they just did it earlier and are not talking about it.

That said, there is still room for some surprises in the second half of the season.  Tonight at 7 pm we have Louis Vuitton Cup racing for those of you who prefer tearing up even larger piles of money in a shower.

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