Dispatches From Hellpeckersville-Resolutions

(6 pm. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

It’s that time again! You know, I never used to make any New Year’s resolutions, I thought they were stupid. Now I love ’em. I make a big list every year. Oh, I still think they’re stupid, but it amuses the hell out of me, so here goes.

1. I’m really going to try to stop being a one hit wonder with my projects. I know how to make a lot of stuff, and I’ll make one of something. It will turn out great, I’ll be happy as all hell with it. Then I’ll start another one….um, I don’t finish. Or, I have the stuff to make more, but I don’t. What is wrong with me? I need to stop the madness.

2. People like to resolve to eat healthier, lol! I already do eat pretty healthy, seriously, I do. Not that it helps much. I tell myself–look, think of how much worse things could be if you ate junk constantly. Yeah, that shit is cold comfort, but I say it anyway. But, being one who tries not to eat much processed food or simple carbs, I’ve tried some things, and this year I will not be eating any quinoa. Yes, I’ve rinsed, I’ve swirled, I’ve done all of that stuff, and still–blech! Quinoa, on my “fuck that” list.

3. Several years back I resolved to stop hogging the Sunday crossword. Care to know how that turned out for me? I get the leavings, the answers Cleetus does not know, okay–fine. But… now the man has begun to encroach upon my crostic! Give them an inch, man. My only satisfaction there comes when he messes up, which he does at least once a week. Once he puts a wrong letter in, he’s sunk. He cannot backtrack and fix it. I’m down to the hard crossword clues and fixing crostics gone wrong. This year all bets are off. I’m taking back some puzzle, damn it.

4. This year I resolve to reduce the stress. I know what you’re thinking, my situation is quite stressful, and no, that’s not going to change. But–I’ve told the various crazymakers around here they better start letting the little shit go. Oh, I know, poor babies, they’re irritated, boo-fucking-hoo, shut up. I am not the receiver of the grievances.

5. Finally, I resolve to waste more time this coming year. I’m going to waste it playing with my kids, watching movies with Cleetus, playing poker on Saturday nights, making art, doing crafts, reading about things that interest me, and just whatever strikes my fancy. See, the time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. That’s a quote generally attributed to either Bertrand Russell or John Lennon, when it was actually neither of them who was the responsible party. The phrase first appeared in a book by Marthe Troly-Curtin and then was reprinted without attribution in various newspapers as a thought for the day. I won’t waste time being miserable. That’s truly a waste.

Life is short, and while I don’t have much, that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy as much of it as possible, and I plan to.