Feb 01 2020

The Boy You Want Your Son To Marry

Don’t look at me like that. I don’t give a damn who your son marries even if it’s a woman. It’s generally a bad idea to form a financial partnership with someone you barely know and even more difficult to find a person you can stand to be around for roughly 8 hours a day. My parents have been married to each other my entire life and I’m over 120 years old! I must admit that at the moment most times it’s like Madeline Kahn and Mel Brooks making their way though an Airport not Scarlett Johansson and Chris Evans making their way though a Mall.

But the point is that Pete Buttigieg is the Boomer ideal of the Millennial Boyfriend you would want your son to have because he’s so Centrist and clean.

So basically young Gay Biden. Vote for Pete!

(I’d point out his uncanny resemblance to Alfred E. Newman but it might be construed as an endorsement.)