Ok. 9ers. They have a female Offensive Co-ordinator (what we used to call a Coach or an Assistant Coach).
Plus, they are likely to win.
So the Chiefs have Mahones. He’s arguably the best there is at the moment and while he’s going up against one of the premier Pass Rushes in the NFL it’s not particularly suited to thwart his game if he throws short and quick.
On the other hand the 9ers Kyle Shanahan (he’s a Coach, not a Quarterback) is going to destroy the Chiefs’ Defense and it’s hard to say how good Jimmy Garoppolo is because anyone can make a Mercedes look racy but only Fernando Alonso can make a brick of a Ferrari seem so.
Metaphor too Formula One for you (don’t get me wrong, Hamilton is better and nicer than most but he doesn’t exceed the iron the way Alonso does)? Football is a sport you play with your feet, Brazilians call it “O Jogo Bonito”. This is why I expect “Throwball” to go viral any day now and instead of the CFL and NFL we’ll be talking about the CTL and NTL (the NBA wouldn’t change because “Bouncy” has the same initial letter as “Basket”. Where are the Baskets Varus?).
Truth told though, were I a Coach I’d spend any amount of money on a Kicker who could nail it from our 25. More points are scored by Kickers than Quarterbacks.
There are certainly a lot of reasons to hate on the NFL as an institution from CTE to Domestic Violence to Steroid Abuse and Firearms Felonies (not unlinked to the Domestic Violence) to Kaepernick (who Started the Superb Owl in 2012 for the 9ers, just saying), and the new Pass Interference Rules but perhaps the saddest thing about it is this-
It’s highly unlikely we’ll see another Superb Owl in Miami ever again because it will be underwater from Global Warming.
Miami can have one last Super Bowl, as a treat
By Zoya Teirstein, Grist
Jan 31, 2020
The San Francisco 49ers and the Kansas City Chiefs will face each other in the Super Bowl on Sunday in Miami. The game will only last a few hours, but Florida is just beginning a decades-long war with a foe that can’t be beat: sea-level rise. If emissions continue to rise unchecked, Miami’s football stadium could be flooded with standing water and America’s holiest championship game will have to be played somewhere else.
For a sneak peek at what Miami Garden’s Hard Rock Stadium, the venue for Super Bowl LIV, could look like in a few decades, look no further than Florida’s coastline. Nearly 600,000 people in South Florida face “extreme” or “high” risk from sea-level rise, according to the Trump administration’s 4th National Climate Assessment. Already, the sea level around Florida is 8 inches higher than it was 70 years ago. Over the past decade, the rate of acceleration has sped up. Florida seas are now rising an inch every three years. Floods are inundating low-lying cities like Miami even on sunny days.
A new report from Climate Central — an organization that analyzes how climate change affects the public — shows that Hard Rock Stadium, between 4 and 6 feet above sea level, is likely to experience some of this flooding in the coming century. It’s not just the football field that’s at risk of getting swamped by climate change. Local roads, the stadium’s $135 million training facility, the tennis center, and parking lots will face higher odds of being submerged.
Developers recently completed a three-year-long, $500 million renovation of the stadium. But the stadium’s state-of-the-art canopy and high-definition screens won’t save it when the floods come. The Hard Rock Stadium property has at the very least, a 1 percent chance of being submerged by rising seas every year by 2070 if the world continues emitting greenhouse gases business-as-usual. By 2090, the risk of the stadium experiencing serious flooding each year rises to 10 percent.
Remember, this is likely an underestimate. A 2019 U.N. report found that the kind of floods this report is talking about will occur in Miami every year as soon as 2050. Plus, the Climate Central analysis didn’t account for rain-induced flooding, seepage, backed-up storm drains, or other reasons why water might make its way into low-lying areas.
So long and thanks for all the fish.
Wait, that’s the one I always think of. You might have been expecting this-
I’m afraid it’s not much more cheerful if you listen to the lyrics though the tune is catchy. Yes I have Genuine People Personality (® Sirius Cybernectics Corporation, “Share and Enjoy”), I was a prototype.
Why do you ask?
Uh oh New Cheetos Popcorn
Chiefs ball on own 45
1st and 10
INT. Chiefs from their 44.
Chiefs 1st & 10 inside 49ers 30 afer 28 yd pass
Chiefs 5 yd penalty 1st & 15
49ers 5 yd penalty. Chiefs 1st & 10
Chiefs 2nd & 9
Chiefs 3rd down for a gain of 5 49ers 23
Chiefs 4th and 1 will run wth the ball
Chiefs 1st & 10 on 16
Chiefs 2nd down after incomplete
Chiefs 3rd down after incomplete
Didn’t realize Wilford Brimley also coached football.
Chiefs 4th & 7
FG is Good
Chiefs 10 – 49ers 3
Chiefs 10 – 7
Avocados from Mexico
49ers ball on own 20
1st and 10
9ers from their 20
49ers ball on own 30
1st and 10
Last Play: Raheem Mostert rush to the left for 9 yards to the SF30.
49ersn 1st and 10 on Chiefs 25
1st and 10 on Chiefs 15
Tie Game 5:05 in the Half
Chiefs 10 – 49ers 10
Rick and Morty Pringles
Chiefs ball on own 20 after kick off
Chiefs from thier 19
Chiefs 1st & 10 on own 29
Chiefs 2nd and 1
Chiefs 1st and 10 on 49ers 48
Chiefs 2nd and 8
Big bucks on Coke Energy
Mr. Peanuts funeral
He was just kidding. Mr. Peanut is back
Bond. James Bond.
2 minutes left in the half
Chiefs 3rd and 14
Oh. 2 Minutes in the Half.
Chiefs 4th down. Punts to 49ers end zone with 59 seconds left in the half
9ers with 3 time outs at their 25.
After punt 49ers ball on own 20
1st and 10
49ers ball on own 13 2nd & 7
5G is Hype now and Garbage when it gets here
49ers: 3rd and 2 on own 18
The Hummer ad
Another Minions? Who asked for that?