What’s Cooking: Ice Cubes

(4 pm. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

I found this recipe “deliciously” amusing. Some of the comments are really funny and as Jeffrey Bloomer at Slate points out, no trolls:

Comment sections on websites can be nasty places, but they’re rarely more useless than they are on popular recipe sites like AllRecipes, Epicurious, and the like. [..]

So I was happy to discover that my despair over such commenting practices is widely shared-and even happier to read a perfect parody of this corner of the Internet. In a glorious recipe posted to Food.com that has been making the rounds on Twitter, a frustrated cook offers a recipe for ice cubes, noting that it may come in handy for “families who have members who don’t know how or have forgotten how to make ice when the ice tray is empty.” The rundown proceeds as expected-water, freezer-and it’s funny enough on its own: a passive-aggressive plea to refill trays that anyone can get behind.

But then the commenters get a hold of it, and the magic begins.

Enjoy

Ice Cubes

Equipment:

  • 2 Ice cube trays
  • 2 cup measuring cup (or larger)
  • 1 tablespoon
  • Ingredients:

  • 2 cups water (approximately)
  • 2 tablespoons water (additional if needed)
  • Directions:

    1 Empty the ice cubes that are left in the trays (if there are any left) into the bin.

    2 Take the trays over to the sink and fill them with cold water.

    3 Place the water filled ice trays back in the freezer.

    4 Replace the ice bin if you had to remove it.

    5 Shut the door to the freezer.

    Prep time: 2 minutes

    Cooking time: 2 to 3 hours

    Yield: 2 trays of ice cubes

    Nutritional Summery::

    Calories: 0

    Fat: 0g

    Carbs: 0g

    Protein: 0g

    Here is a sample of some of the comments:

    Chef #1408275: “This recipe is horrible! Maybe I should have left them in longer than two minutes (the recipe doesn’t say how long to leave them in the freezer so I just kind of guessed) but mine came out all watery. I won’t be making these again.”

    donquix66: “I harvest my own free-range water, so the idea of putting it in a plastic tray and a commercially made electricity-wasting freezer disgusts me. I prefer nature’s method, waiting until the temperature outside drops below freezing.”

    KMSoprano: “I’m relieved to notice in the nutritional facts that these delicious cubes are not sodium free. A touch of salt is so important to bring out just the right icy flavor. We make this fabulous recipe so often, we had to buy 30 or 40 bottles of bourbon and scotch to go with it…”

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