Tag: Prime Time

Some premiers, none of note except for American Masters‘ Jeff Bridges, part of a marathon with The Doors.

I never got to say goodbye to my father. There’s questions I would’ve asked him. I would’ve asked him how he felt about what his company did, if he was conflicted, if he ever had doubts. Or maybe he was every inch of man we remember from the newsreels. I saw young Americans killed by the very weapons I created to defend them and protect them. And I saw that I had become part of a system that is comfortable with zero-accountability.

• AMC– Swordfish, The Specialist
• Bravo– Top Chef marathon (with premier)
• Disney– The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl, Phineas and Ferb
• Discovery– Howe & Howe, Mythbusters (premiers)
• ESPN– College Hoopies, Pittsburgh @ Georgetown, Duke @ Florida State
• ESPN2– College Hoopies, Louisville @ Villanova, Kansas @ Iowa State
• Food– Worst, Dinner Impossible
• FX– Iron Man
• History– Doooooooooooooooomed! I tells ya.
• Turner Classic– The Good Earth
• Travel– Man v. Food marathon (thank goodness, with premier)
• USA– NCIS marathon
• Vs.– NBA D League Hoopies, Rio Grande Valley Vipers @ Erie BayHawks

Later-

• ESPN2– College Hoopies, Nevada @ Idaho
• FX– Spiderman 3
• Sci Fi– The Cape (Series Premier repeat)
• Turner Classic– The Great Ziegfeld
• Travel– More Man v. Food (thank goodness, with premier)
• USA– Dukes of Hazzard x 2

Dave hosts Kevin James, Olivia Munn, and The Low Anthem.  Jon has Tim Pawlenty (yuck), Stephen Bernard-Henri Levy.  Conan hosts Denis Leary, Tim Minchin, and Ice Cube.

Whatever comes our way, whatever battle we have raging inside us, we always have a choice. My friend Harry taught me that. He chose to be the best of himself. It’s the choices that make us who we are, and we can always choose to do what’s right.

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In all the Throwball excitement I feel I may have passed too quickly over the reputed demise of Sarah Palin’s Alaska.  Unlike some I didn’t think it totally unwatchable from a reality TV standpoint.  Better than Dog The Bounty Hunter, not quite so good as Billy The Exterminator.  I’ll be sad to see it leave

V premier.  NCIS x 2 premiers.  Nova Earthquakes; Frontline, Independent Lens Haiti.

We’re gonna bring this party up to a nice respectable level. Don’t worry, we’re not gonna hurt anyone. We’re not even gonna touch ’em. We’re just gonna make ’em cry a little, just by lookin’ at ’em.

• ABC Family– Remember the Titans
• AMC– Once Upon a Time in Mexico x 2
• Disney– Phineas and Ferb
• Discovery– Dirty Jobs (last week’s and new), Auction Kings (premier)
• ESPN– College Hoopies, Wisconsin @ Michigan State, Florida @ Tennessee
• ESPN2– College Hoopies, Texas @ Texas Tech
• Food– Cupcake Wars, Chopped (premiers)
• FX– Iron Man, Lights Out (Seriers Premier)
• Oxygen– The Queens of Comedy, Something New
• Sci Fi– More Green Hornet!
• Speed– Monster Jam
• TBS– Family Guy marathon, Glory Daze (premier)
• Turner Classic– Laurel & Hardy marathon
• TLC– What Not to Wear (premier)
• Toon– Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over
• TV Guide– Some Kind of Wonderful (if it wasn’t good, I wouldn’t mention it)
• Vs.– Flyers @ Sabres

Later-

• AMC– The Quick and the Dead
• Comedy– The Onion Sports Desk (premier)
• USA– Next Friday, Burn Notice

Dave hosts Vince Vaughn, Mike Wolfe and Frank Fritz, and Cage the Elephant.  Jon has Colin Firth, Stephen Chris Hughes.  Conan hosts Javier Bardem, Rashida Jones, and Steel Train.

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PBS has a biography of U.S. Grant.  Other premiers.  College Throwball Championship.

Oh, fascinating. Twenty particles of space dust per cubic meter, 52 ultraviolet radiation spikes, and a class-2 comet. Well, this is certainly worthy of our attention.

• ABC Family– Pretty Little Liars, Greek (premiers)
• AMC– Exit Wounds x 2
• Bravo– Inside The Actors Studio: Jim Carrey (premier)
• Comedy– Balls of Fury, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (new to Comedy)
• Disney– Ratatouille, Phineas and Ferb
• Discovery– Sr. v. Jr.
• ESPN– Tostitos BCS National Championship: Auburn vs. Oregon
• ESPN2– Notre Dame @ Marquette
• Food– Triple D (premier)
• FX– X-Men: The Last Stand
• History– Pawn Stars and Pickers
• Lifetime– Dan in Real Life
• Sci Fi– Star Trek: Nemesis, Star Trek: First Contact
• TBS– Family Guy marathon
• Turner Classic– The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit
• TLC– Cake Boss (last week’s and new)
• TNT– Men of a Certain Age
• Toon– Regular Show, MAD, Robotomy (premiers)
• Vs.– Bruins @ Penguins

Later-

• AMC– Bowfinger
• FX– Coach Carter
• Turner Classic– Patterns, The Rabbit Trap
• Travel– Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations

Dave hosts Bill Cosby and the Black Keys.  Jon has Denis Leary (those interviews always suck), Stephen Fen Montaigne.  Alton does Meringue and Banana Pudding.  Conan hosts Donald Glover and Guster.

I suppose I’ll be watching the BCS game so there might be periodic updates below.

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Some premiers.  New Simpsons, Cleveland, Family Guy, Bob’s Burgers Series Premier.  Nature has a Born Free follow up, Masterpiece Theater an Edwardian costume piece.

Duty. A starship captain’s life is filled with solemn duty. I have commanded men in battle. I have negotiated peace treaties between implacable enemies. I have represented the Federation in first contact with twenty-seven alien species. But none of this compares with my solemn duty today… as best man. Now, I know, on an occasion such as this, it is expected that I be gracious and fulsome in my praise on the wonders of this blessed union, but have the two of you considered what you were doing to me? Of course you’re happy, but what about *my* needs? This is all a damned inconvenience. While you’re happily settling in on the Titan, I will be training my new first officer. You all know him. He’s a tyrannical martinet who will never, *ever*, allow me to go on away missions.

• ABC Family– A Bug’s Life, Liar Liar
• AMC– Exit Wounds x 2
• Bravo– Real Housewives marathon (with premier)
• Disney– Hannah Montana, Shake It Up (premiers)
• Discovery– Auction Kings marathon
• ESPN– College Throwball, Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl: Boston College v. Nevada
• Food– Challenge, Worst, Iron Chef America (premiers)
• FX– Hellboy II: The Golden Army x 2
• History– Ax Men (last week’s and new), Top Gear (premier)
• Lifetime– The Craigslist Killer
• Nick– News special on Haiti
• Sci Fi– Star Trek Generations, Star Trek Nemesis
• Style– The Dish (premier)
• TBS– Just Married x 2
• Turner Classic– This Is the Night, The Match King
• TLC– Sarah Palin’s Alaska x 2 (premier, Season, and perhaps Series, Finale)
• TNT– Hitch x 2
• Toon– Young Justice League, Clone Wars (this week’s)
• USA– The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
• Vs.– Tin Cup x 2

The Venture Brothers– Home Insecurity, The Incredible Mr. Brisby

Later-

• AMC– Money Train
• Sci Fi– Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, Star Runners
• TBS– Mean Girls
• Turner Classic– Friends and Lovers, Umarete Wa Mita Keredo (shhhh)
• TNT– Why Did I Get Married?
• Toon– Robot Chicken (Season Premier)
• USA– The Golden Compass

I take it the odds are against us in a situation this grim.

You could say that.

You know, if Spock were here, he’d say that I was an irrational, illogical human being by taking on a mission like that. Sounds like fun!

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Well of course the big news is Throwball which will get bumped in due course, but if you’re looking for alternate programming you might start with Austin City Limits (premier).

Excuse me. Everyone, I have a brief announcement to make. Jesus was black, Ronald Reagan was the devil, and the government is lying about 9/11. Thank you for your time and good night.

• ABC Family– Aladdin, Cheaper by the Dozen
• AMC– True Grit (the old one, it’s hard to call it better)
• Bravo– House marathon
• Discovery– Mythbusters marathon
• E!– The Princess Diaries
• Food– Iron Chef America marathon
• FX– Jumper
• History– Conspiracy Theories and Aliens! (evidently right wing JFK slime fests don’t meet their exacting standards of truthiness)
• Lifetime– The Boy She Met Online, The Craigslist Killer
• Nick– Big Time Rush, Victorious (premiers), House of Anubis (Series Premier repeat)
• Oxygen– Pretty Woman x 2
• Sci Fi– FeardotCom, Ghost Ship
• Spike– The Exorcist, Hannibal Rising
• TBS– Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist, Legally Blonde
• Turner Classic– Road to Morocco, The Prince and the Showgirl
• TNT– Gumped, A Time to Kill
• Toon– Jungle 2 Jungle
• USA– Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Street Kings
• Vs.– Bull Riding

Later-

• AMC– El Dorado
• Sci Fi– Silent Hill, Ghost Voyage
• Spike– The Hills Have Eyes
• TBS– Bring It On: In It to Win It
• Turner Classic– The Swan, Mrs. Brown (a little recent for Turner Classic)
• TNT– Lakeview Terrace
• USA– Shoot ‘Em Up
• VH!– Take the Lead, Shall We Dance

SNL– Jim Carrey and the Black Keys (premier).

Boondocks– Garden Party (Series Premier repeat), Granddad’s Fight

GitS: SAC 2nd Gig– Transparent (Episode 18), Chain Reaction (Episode 19)

How many times have I told you you bet’ not even dream of tellin’ white folk the truth? You understand me? Shoot… makin’ white people riot. You better learn how to lie like me. I’m gonna find me a white man and lie to him right now!

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Some premiers.  No LoDo (and there was much rejoicing).  No in my time period but also of note is the Series Premier of Young Justice League.  Despite being listed as new, it’s the same one I’ve already seen where they find the Superboy clone at Project Cadmus.

You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fucking khakis. You’re the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

• AMC– Open Range x 2
• Bravo– The Green Mile x 2
• Disney– The Suite Life on Deck, Wizards of Waverly Place, Fish Hooks, Phineas and Ferb short (premiers)
• Discovery– Gold Rush marathon (with premier)
• E!– The Soup (premier)
• ESPN– Hoopies, Rockets @ Magic, Knicks @ Suns
• ESPN2– College Throwball, Division 1a Playoff Final: Delaware v. Eastern Washington
• Food– Outrageous (premier)
• FX– The Happening x 2
• History– Secrets of the Illuminati!
• National Geographic– Dog Whisperer (premier)
• Sci Fi– Merlin (should be the season premier, but Zap2it says 9/11)
• Style– Honey x 2
• TBS– The Wedding Planner
• Turner Classic– The Fastest Gun Alive, State Fair
• TLC– Say Yes to the Dress marathon (2 premiers)
• Toon– Clone Wars (Nightsisters Trilogy premier)
• USA– Inside Man, No Country for Old Men
• VH1– Fight Club

Later-

• FX– Little Man
• TBS– Father of the Bride, Father of the Bride Part II
• Turner Classic– Pinky
• TNT– The Terminal, The Family Man
• USA– Matchstick Men

Dave hosts Regis Philbin, Hannibal Buress, and No Age.  

Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don’t you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can’t think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you’re supposed to read? Do you think every thing you’re supposed to think? Buy what you’re told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you’re alive. If you don’t claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned- Tyler.

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That was quick.

I have to admit another guilty pleasure. Leonardo DiCaprio’s first movie, The Quick and the Dead.  In fairness it also has Sharon Stone, Russell Crowe, and Gene Hackman.

All I hear from you, you spineless cowards, is how poor you are; how you can’t afford my taxes. Yet somehow, you managed to find the money to hire a gunfighter to kill me. If ya got so much money, I’m just gonna have to take some more. Because clearly some of you haven’t got the message! This is my town! I run everything! If you live to see the dawn, it’s because I allow it! I decide who lives and who dies!

• ABC Family– Bruce Almighty, Evan Almighty
• AMC– The Quick and the Dead x 2
• Bravo– Real Housewives marathon (with premier)
• Disney– Princess Protection Program
• Discovery– Sr. v. Jr. (making of)
• ESPN– College Throwball, GoDaddy.com Bowl: Miami (Ohio) v. Middle Tennessee State (in the interests of full disclosure I suppose I should mention that GoDaddy is our domain name service provider)
• ESPN2– College Hoopies, Xavier @ Cincinnati, Northwestern @ Illinois
• Food– Ace of Cakes (premier)
• FX– Rush Hour x 2
• History– Aliens! and Conspiracy Theories (premier)
• Lifetime– Deadly Relations
• TBS– Failure to Launch
• Turner Classic– I’m All Right, Jack, Heavens Above! (Peter Sellers night)
• TLC– Sarah Palin’s Alaska marathon
• TNT– Hoopies, Thunder @ Mavs, Nuggets @ Kings
• Travel– Man v. Food marathon (thank goodness)
• USA– National Treasure x 2
• VH1– SNL marathon

Later-

• AMC– Airplane
• Turner Classic– Two Way Stretch
• USA– Jurassic Park III
• VH1– Fight Club

Dave hosts Seth Rogen, Beau Garrett, and The Walkmen.  Jon has Patton Oswalt, Stephen Dr. Ronald Depinho.  Conan in repeats from 12/13.

Elaine, you’re a member of this crew. Can you face some unpleasant facts?

No.

I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who’ve ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.

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More Awards Shows.  The most boring form of television ever unless you have some action going.  Lots of premiers if you’re into that sort of thing.

• Bravo– Top Chef marathon (with premier)
• Discovery– Howe & Howe, Mythbusters (premiers)
• ESPN– High School Throwball, All-Star Game
• ESPN2– College Hoopies, Alabama-Birmingham @ Duke, Memphis @ Tennessee
• Food– Worst (Season Premier repeat), Dinner Impossible
• FX– Tropic Thunder x 2
• History– Aliens! and Doom, Doooooom I tells ya.
• Lifetime– She’s The One
• Turner Classic– Mr. Holland’s Opus, An Affair to Remember
• TNT– Bones marathon
• Travel– Man v. Food marathon (with premier)
• USA– The Bourne Ultimatum x 2, Ocean’s Thirteen
• Vs.– Tin Cup

Later-

• ESPN– Hoopies, Lakers @ Suns
• Turner Classic– Kiss Me, Stupid

Dave hosts Jennifer Connelly, Dr. Mehmet Oz, and Justin Townes Earle.  Jon has Jimmy Wales, Stephen Atul Gawande.  Conan in repeats from 12/2.

New V.  Other premiers.  Tonight’s highight is the final 5 new episodes of Caprica back to back.  I’m still conflicted about it, the only ones I identify with are the Cylons and the Adamas.

• ABC Family– The Notebook
• AMC– Demolition Man x 2
• Disney– Wizards of Waverly Place The Movie
• Discovery– Dirty Jobs (last week’s and new), Auction Kings (premier)
• ESPN– College Throwball, Sugar Bowl: Arkansas v. Ohio State
• ESPN2– College Hoopies, Indiana @ Minnesota
• FX– Hellboy II: The Golden Army x 2
• Oxygen– Definitely, Maybe x 2
• Sci Fi– Caprica x 3 (all premiers)
• Speed– Monster Jam x 2
• TBS– Family Guy marathon, Glory Daze (premier)
• Turner Classic– Our Gang marathon until 8 pm tomorrow
• TLC– What Not To Wear x 2 (premiers)
• TNT– Gladiator (Joey?)
• Toon– Zathura
• USA– Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins ], [Semi-Pro
• Vs.– Wild @ Devils

Later-

• AMC– Crocodile Dundee
• Oxygen– Kate & Leopold
• USA– Hairspray (not the good 1988 version)

Dave hosts Tim McGraw, Shaquille O’Neal, and Keri Hilson.  Jon has Kirsten Gillibrand, Stephen Geoffrey Canada.  Conan in repeats from 11/24.

Well, you see, Aborigines don’t own the land.They belong to it. It’s like their mother. See those rocks? Been standing there for 600 million years. Still be there when you and I are gone. So arguing over who owns them is like two fleas arguing over who owns the dog they live on.

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Lots of premiers on Broadcast, none worth watching other than Robert E. Lee on American Experience.  LoDo is back (unfortunately).  So are Jon and Stephen (and there was much rejoicing).

You start running a respectable business and I won’t have to come in here and hassle you every night. You know what I mean? And I want the rest of you cowboys to know something, there’s a new sheriff in town. And his name is Reggie Hammond. So y’all be cool. Right on.

• ABC Family– Pretty Little Liars x 2, Greek (Season Premiers)
• AMC– Swordfish x 2
• Comedy– The Heartbreak Kid, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (4 premiers)
• Disney– The Game Plan
• Discovery– Sr. v. Jr. x 2 (premier ‘Making Of’), Gold Rush
• ESPN– College Throwball, Orange Bowl: Stanford v. Virginia Tech
• ESPN2– College Hoopies, Georgetown @ St. John’s
• Food– Triple D, Best Thing (premiers)
• FX– Men of Honor
• History– Pawn Stars and Pickers
• Lifetime– My Family’s Secret, The Craigslist Killer (World Premier)
• National Geographic– Hitler and the Taliban
• Oxygen– Bad Girls Club (premier), The Queens of Comedy x 2
• Sci Fi– V: The Final Battle marathon
• Spike– Die Hard
• TBS– Family Guy marathon
• Turner Classic– Shanghai Express, Morocco
• TLC– Cake Boss (last week’s and new), The Opener (premier)
• TNT– The Closer (Penultimate and Season Finale premier), Men of a Certain Age (premier)
• Toon– Regular Show (premier)
• Travel– Dining with Death (premier)
• Vs.– Blackhawks @ Kings

Later-

• AMC– 48 Hours (the funny movie and not the stupid documentary)
• FX– 21 (card counting at MIT), Archer
• Turner Classic– Crime and Punishment, The Shanghai Gesture

Dave hosts Brian Williams (ugh) and Paula Abdul.  Jon has Paul Giamatti, Stephen Ed Rendell.  Alton does Porterhouse and Pork Tenderloin.  Conan in repeats from 11/22.

You know what I am? I’m your worst fuckin’ nightmare, man. I’m a nigger with a badge which means I got permission to kick your fuckin’ ass whenever I feel like it!

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