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Oct 22 2014

Dispatches From Hellpeckersville-52

(8 pm. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

Birthdays, you know, they’re a double edged sword as you get older. Sure, you’d rather have them than not, but 52? When the hell did that happen? Of course, I no longer have any lines in my forehead, but what does that matter at this stage of the game in this podunk town? I’ll give you a little hint–it doesn’t. I do get a kick out of people pointing it out though, it cracks me up. Because they must enter my abode to see it, it’s not like I go anywhere, but I guess if I were doing it for cosmetic reason I would have done it ten years ago.

Truth be told, I don’t feel any wiser either. One would think that after a half century of living I’d have some sage advice rattling around in this head of mine, but one would be wrong. The best advice I can give anyone is: Don’t ask me! I’ve made more mistakes than one could shake a stick at, and that’s the truth. I’m not even clear on the origin of the idiom “shake a stick at” as far as I can tell it had something to do with herding goats, but don’t take my word for that, I could very well be wrong.

More mature? Not likely. Unless we’re talking about gray hair, and I can always dye that. But if you’re looking for the person who still can’t contain their inappropriate laughter in any situation without biting down painfully on the insides of their cheeks, here I am. That’s right, there’s always going to be that adolescent kid in the corner of the locker room of my mind snickering away at the least little thing, and honestly? I’m good with that.

And this year I did kind of make out like a bandit. I got a new sewing machine, which may not sound like the end all be all to some, but me and my older kid are having a great time with it. I’m teaching him how to sew. I think he’s doing a great job with it too…

not too shabby for his first project, huh? My heart is bursting with pride~

So, no, I don’t eagerly anticipate the birthday like I did when I was a kid anymore, but I’ve got a chocolate cream pie with my name on it in the fridge, and like I said–having a birthday sure beats the alternative~

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